Dinner without Crayons » TommyDinner without Crayons

Perhaps you need to check the definition of stupid

Erinn — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:34:49 +0000

Report cards finally came out. You may remember I hadn’t seen any of Tommy’s grades other than a B on a practice test. So I was relieved when he got 4 As and a B, but I knew he would be disappointed in the B. I just didn’t realize how much.

“Wow, honey, that’s a great report card! Almost straight As — you really worked hard!”

“I didn’t even look at it. As soon as I opened the folder and saw stupid Honor Roll [straight As is Principal's Honor Roll, you see] I shut the folder and puched myself in the head.”

OK, I admit my first instinct was to laugh. Who punches themselves in the head in the middle of class? Oh, my kid. The same one who covered himself with the “towel of shame” after a less-than-stellar swim meet. The same one who cries when he strikes out in baseball. That kid. I really don’t understand why he puts so much pressure on himself; we’ve tried to make it clear that we’re proud of the effort, not necessarily the result. But he is wired to scorn less-than-perfect.

Maybe he will grow out of it. Or maybe I will be forever comforting my “shameful” son who only makes the “stupid” regular honor roll.

A quality education

Erinn — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:03:51 +0000

Our school recently had “back to school” night, giving parents the opportunity to meet their kids’ teachers, see the classrooms, look at some of their work, etc. As I was flipping through some of Tommy’s folders, I saw lists he had written for “Quality Student” and “Quality Teacher.” Quality Students need to be trustworthy, smart and try their best. A Quality Teacher needs to be organized, appropriately dressed (for some reason I found this particularly funny as Tommy’s teacher is male — no sweatpants I guess!) and have candy. I sat in Tommy’s seat, trying to keep my giggles to myself, making a mental note to talk to Tommy about what he should actually expect from his fourth grade teacher. Then I looked around the room and saw charts on the wall listing those exact qualities for teacher and students. It turns out the class decided on these qualities as a whole, and believed very strongly that a teacher should always have candy. And the teacher had enough sense of humor to write it down and put it on the wall. I think I’ll get along with his teacher just fine!

Career change

Erinn — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:38:05 +0000

From kindergarten through second grade, Tommy repeatedly announced his desire to become a librarian when he grows up.

How sweet. For a love of books and learning?

“Because I get to tell people to be quiet.”

Apparently this power was no longer enough for him. I stared open-mouthed when Tommy proclaimed in third grade that he wanted to join the Army. Until he specified,

“The clone army.”

God bless Star Wars.

A little bit too much of heaven

Erinn — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 18:07:42 +0000

In the car on the way to the chocolate festival, I could not contain my enthusiasm.

“Tommy, you’re going to have such a fun day.”

Tommy smiled excitedly,

I continued, “There’s going to be a fountain made of different kinds of chocolate. And you can buy some candy to take home with you. And you can taste some of Mommy’s ice cream. Then, afterwards we’re going to have pizza for lunch. Your perfect day! You are going to be in heaven!”

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Tommy’s face was ashen. His lip quivered.

“I’m going to heaven?” he asked.