Yesterday, I was thinking about all the pictures I want to take while we’re at the parks. I want a photo of the kids with Santa Claus, and one of the whole family in front of the castle for our Christmas card. I want to take the kids and reprise photos that we’ve taken of them in years past, to show how they’ve grown between trips. Of course, I want shots of them with their favorite characters.

I started to wonder whether my compact camera is good enough to get all these shots. It’s a nice little camera, but it isn’t nearly as good as my big ol’ SLR. I’m also not nearly as reliable with the little one as I am with the big one.

I began to think that maybe I should bring the big camera. Sure, the little one fits in the pocket of my jeans. The big one comes with lenses and a case, and could never be left in the stroller for fear of theft. But I’d get better photos…

Then I remembered that last year, Byron and I went to Europe for our anniversary. We traveled to several cities in Italy, including Venice, and also to Paris and Normandy in France. I didn’t even consider bringing my big SLR on that trip because I knew it would be too much of a hassle. I took all my photos with the little compact.

If the little camera could handle the actual Europe, I think it’s good enough for the World Showcase at Epcot Center. I need to get a grip.

Before I go any further, I want to ask something. Why is it that everyone seems to think that we go to Disney World all the time? Just yesterday I mentioned this upcoming trip to the mother of one of Mack’s friends and she said, “You guys do that a lot, don’t you?” Another mom recently asked me, “Do you go every year, or twice a year?” Well, for your information, it will be more than 19 months between our last trip and this one. And the trip before that was in December 2007, three years ago – and it was to Disneyland, not Disney World, so it really doesn’t even count.

Shoot, my sister and her family have been to Disney World and Disneyland since our brood last booked any Happiest Place on Earth time. Her kids have been looking down their noses at my kids for months.

And it’s not like we don’t go anywhere else. My kids have all been in at least 35 states, and this year we even took them to the Grand Canyon. Shoot, Mack’s been to Mount Rushmore twice. Not many kids from Virginia can say that. Anyway, tangent over. I don’t know why we’re somehow considered The Disney Folks, but I guess there are worse things to be.

The last time we went to Disney, we didn’t have much time to plan. Byron and I decided we felt like going, and then we got the idea to surprise the kids. So we put the trip together just a few weeks beforehand, and didn’t tell the boys anything about it. One day in May we told them we were going bowling, and piled into the car. We drove to the airport, as they got increasingly agitated, trying to figure out what was up. We parked the car and pulled up a blanket in the back to reveal our packed suitcases. “We’re going to Disney World!” And thus began the six-day trip that Aidan still calls, “The time we didn’t get to go bowling.”

But this time, we’ve had the trip planned for a long time – basically since they announced the opening date of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I had it in the back of my head all year, and in the last couple of months we’ve bought all the tickets and made all the necessary arrangements. (Well, we haven’t told all the teachers yet. It’s always easier to beg for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.)

When one is as obsessive as I am, it is extremely dangerous to have this much time to prepare for a trip to “The World.” Normal people (i.e. not one of the other two people who write for this blog) are probably not aware of this, but there is a lot of space on the Internet devoted to planning a trip to Disney World. And when I say “a lot” I mean maybe slightly less room than there is devoted to porn…but it’s close. There are information sites and tip sites and sites that describe each ride and rank it on a scale of one to ten. There are whole sites devoted to discussing the different resorts and restaurants. But the best are the forums, where Crazy Disney People gather to dissect and debate every – every – aspect of Disney World. They have little abbreviations for everything, including every ride (PotC) and every resort (PoP). Cast members are CMs and annual passes are APs and it is very troubling to me that I’ve come to be literate in their lingo.

These discussion sites are horribly annoying, yet completely addictive. Every day I promise myself I won’t visit them, because I don’t like how I feel afterward. But every day, at some point, my resolve wavers and I find myself typing one of those URLs. I don’t know why I do it. Occasionally I read a good tip or find out about something my family might enjoy. But the vast majority of the discussions make me think one of two things, “Get a life!” or “What the hell is wrong with these people?”

I will never be able to approach a visit to Disney the same way again, now that I know that these people are there. In past trips I was just spending time with my family. I didn’t know I was being judged for the size of my stroller, the paths I take through the parks, the treats I buy my kids, the rides my kids do or do not ride, what time we arrive to watch the parade, even the way we stand in line. These people have opinions on everything and they are not afraid to give them.

One of the biggest eye-openers for me is that the Disney Crazies are psychotic about line cutting. Many times in the past, I’ve gotten in line with the kids while Byron grabs some Fastpasses, or parks the stroller, or puts trash in a trash can. Then he comes and joins us in line, even if a couple of people have gotten between us. After all, it doesn’t really cost anyone behind us any time, as we’re all going to ride together anyway. Many times, of course, we’ve also let people walk in front of us to join their party, the same way. Well, I am now aware that doing this is basically akin to a terrorist attack. This is line cutting! And rude! And cause for dismissal from the park! The mere suggestion that this might be okay makes the crazies go apoplectic with rage.

Some write posts that ask what they should do if they’ve been waiting in line for 45 minutes and their child desperately needs to go to the bathroom. Can they send the child with one parent, and have them come right back? Verboten! “Too bad!” say the crazies. “You should have planned ahead, like we do!” If you have to get out of line for any reason, they insist, you lose your place. One woman mentioned that her child has a medical condition that makes it hard for her to predict when she has to use the bathroom. They didn’t care. “Why should I know or care about your issues? Maybe I have a medical condition that makes me get tired when I have to stand for extra time because you think you can hop in and out of line whenever you like!”

All of this line cutting and bathroom talk led, naturally, to a discussion of a woman who recently changed her child’s diaper while standing in line for the Toy Story Mania ride. Yep, right there in the line, she got down on the floor and changed the kid while the line waited behind her. You’d think that any rational person would be disgusted, right? Well, notice I said “rational.” The crazies seemed to love it…or at least to respect the woman’s commitment. One post even suggested that parents consider carrying an empty water bottle with them, so their kids could pee in the water bottle rather than get out of line if they were close to the end of the queue (I assume this was only for the parents of boys).

Seriously. Peeing into a water bottle right there in front of everyone. How twisted is that?

Although, you know what? My boys would probably think that was the most awesome thing they had ever been allowed to do in their entire lives. They would enjoy it way more than they enjoy the Hall of Presidents. This trip would then always be remembered as, “The trip where we got to pee in a bottle.” I bet we could even get one of the Disney Photographers (DPs) to take a commemorative photo.

Cat announced to me earlier this evening that she had an interesting homework assignment. She is studying the various phases of matter – solids, liquids and gasses and needed to find five pictures of each matter type.

We decided to scroll through our iPhoto archives before butchering the magazine pile. Cat selected the photos and with each one, my mood noticeably lifted.

Her gasses photos depicted:
- gasses coming off of a volcano Chris and I visited while in St. Lucia for his 40th birthday
- sulfur coming off of fireworks at the Epcot lagoon
- smoke coming off of hot dogs Cat roasted over a campfire during our camping trip this fall
- skywriting of a smiley face on a clear Florida sky
- neon in the lights at Radio City from our trip to see the Rockettes last year.

Her liquid pictures featured:
- Cat on the Slip-and-Slide in our yard
- the geyser spraying at the Wilderness Lodge
- lighted fountains outside of a restaurant we visited
- bubbles from bubbles Cat and Tate were playing with in Williamsburg while our car was being detailed after the unfortunate spaghetti/ice cream/barf incident after visiting Paul’s Deli
- liquid cookie paint from a fabulous dessert at the Artist Point restaurant at Disney

Her chosen solids were:
- a dolphin she petted at Sea World
- our bulldog, Scarlett
- the Littlest Pet Shop monkey Amy, that she earned after a perfect spelling test
- the cookie from the Artist Point dessert
- Cat sitting on Grandma Liz’s lap

Her homework reminded me how fortunate we are. We have had wonderful adventures and we have fabulous memories. Scrolling through the pictures I saw literally thousands of photos of trips (an amazing number to Disney), smiles, hugs, laughs, people and places we love. Our life is an amalgam of solids, liquids and gasses that have combined to create a lot of happiness and love.

And it’s that matter that truly matters.