Colleen came home from first grade last week with some exciting news. Breathlessly, she told me that one of her classmates got stitches! In her forehead!

“And Mommy, you’ll never guess how she got them. Her friend accidentally hit her in the head with a baseball bat — a METAL baseball bat!” Seriously, exactly that inflection.

To which Tommy scoffed, “Yeah, right, on accident. (Mimes smashing a bat down on someone’s head.) Oops, sorry.” (Poor Mack!)

I explained how accidents can happen, but won’t it be funny if Aidan ever meets this girl? Who would use the pick-up line on whom? Those dasterdly METAL baseball bats.