I am scheduled to be the classroom helper in Cat’s class next Friday for about an hour. It will be my job to help administer and grade the weekly spelling test. Apparently my comportment left a little to be desired during the second grade class field trip, because Cat spent the drive to school today issuing guidelines for my behavior for this event. Remember, it is 8 days away and I will only be there an hour or so.
Her list included:
“No doing a happy dance if I get a 12 out of 12 on my test. It’s embarrassing when you do that.”
“No bursting into tears if I do not get a 12 out of 12 on my test. That would be awkward.”
“You need to make sure you do your hair and make-up nice, but you can’t wear a dress or a lawyer suit. You need to look cute but not TOO cute because I don’t want the boys in my class to crush on you. That would be awkward. Besides, they are all supposed to crush on me.”
“Do not try to help me during the test. That would be cheating and it would be a black mark on both of our records. My record is clean.” (I am not sure what the pointed look after that last remark was meant to convey.)
“No matter how nervous you get for me, do not pee your pants.”
At this point, I had to interject. “Cat, have you ever known me to pee my pants?”
“No Mom, but I know how nervous and excited you get for me over the spelling tests and I thought you needed the reminder.”
I love your happy dance. Maybe you can substitute it for my “bear dance”. It used to embarass you, maybe it won’t embarass my grand daughter. As far as the rule thing is concerned, that’s heredity, “lawyer daughter”. Also I am presently crushin on all three of my girls. No other boys allowed. Please relay this rule on to my grand daughters. Mean while every time I think of your happy dance I have a smile of contentment. Dance on Tanya! Dance on!